First thing that changed me the most, my weight and body.
Stretch marks everywhere! On my boobs, tummy, thighs, hips, ass and knees. Yes, due to my first child was too big size, my skin stretched out to the max already. So after delivered, my skin were loosen and took me quite long to tighten it back.
Secondly, my hair.
Hair loss became my biggest fear! I realized it dropped the most when Beorn was a month old, three months, 9 months and a year old! I really wanna go for a good hair treatment for hair growth 🙁 To all women, hair is part of beauty and looking good and confident. Which woman feels good knowing they’re facing hair loss problem? Sigh.
My nails became very fragile. It gets chipped off very easily and so, I often trim my nails short. That’s so not me! The old me loves to have long nails cause back then, my nails were strong and my fingers look sexier with longer nails! Hahaha! Since having fragile nails and handling kids, in order not to scratch them unknowingly, I have to sacrifice and keep my nails short.
Fourth, my memory space.
I feel like a goldfish. After 2 seconds, I’ve forgotten what has happened just now. My memory got worse after Belen was out. So bad that whatever events or things that need to be done, I’ve to put reminders in my phone calendar and write down on a notebook. Even Belen’s feeding timing too!
Fifth, lesser love, care and attention from the partner.
Well, obviously it’s a good thing to seeing your partner dote the children so much. But seldom men are able to balance up the love. In the end. I got neglected. I believe many mommies are feeling the same as me. Frequently telling myself that is alright and should be more than happy that the partner is loving the children so much. But after awhile, feeling emotional, unwanted and taken for granted. It’s like after I’ve help to deliver 2 adorable boys, instead of getting more love, care and attention, ended up even lesser than I thought. Probably that’s one reason why many married couples with kids in the end went separate way due to affairs etc. No choice but to tell myself that as long as I love myself, that matters.
Sixth, no fashion sense and naked face.
I believe most mommies are kind of tired or lazy to put on make up and dressed up well when heading out. Be it a date with the partner or family outing. Especially now that I’ve 2 boys. Not only must I pack their stuffs and my stuff in a bag, pick their clothes and dressing them up, I also have to help the man dressed up too! So in the end, all are ready except me. Most guys are impatient to wait for the women to put on makeup. So I always ended up going out with naked face without dressing up too. Some lucky mommies will have their partner to help looking after the kids while they doll up but it doesn’t happen to me. Probably never. Haha!
Seventh, disconnected with the outside world.
Ever since I became a mommy, I no longer follow or know what’s the latest hit songs. All the songs that I know are related to children. Kids’ songs, songs from Barney, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse etc. in order to bond with the child, I believe and think that mommies should learn those songs and dance steps. Same as the latest movies and drama. I only know the latest cartoon show.
Definitely don’t have much freedom. Or as bad as no freedom. I used to be in front of the laptop the whole day. But not anymore now. Most of the times will be dealing with the children. Even when they’re napping, I will either nap together with them or get things done quickly. I mean very quickly. No longer hang out with friends or even keep in touch. At times only reply messages when kids are asleep. Especially with Beorn around, his itchy fingers are always there to press the buttons. I do wish to keep in touch with friends. Like being the first one to contact them instead but I really don’t have time. Same goes to watching drama, I either give it a missed or watch it till midnight after the boys are asleep.
Ninth, “business” in toilet to be done in a minute.
Yes, in a minute be it big or small. Especially when you’ve to look after the kids on your own, even when you needed to use the toilet badly, you just have to hold it for the longest! So usually, I only get to use the toilet when the kids are asleep or I’ve extra helping hand to help me. At times I wish I can take my own sweet time just like the man. But sadly, I can’t.
Tenth, tasteless food.
Nowadays the thought of going out, having to feed the kids make me don’t wanna go out. Especially now that I’ve 2 boys. The man definitely can’t help in this. Not only that, every meal after I’m done feeding them and the man done with his food, left me, I have to swallow the food down without chewing. Not only that, I’ve to keep the boys entertained while eating. Both the kids and man don’t have the patience to wait for me to enjoy my food. So I no longer craving for good food or expensive food especially with kids around.
Eleventh, going to malls that are child-friendly.
Having changing or nursing room at each level! Not only that, a clean one too. Most restaurants or food court with high chairs. Big lifts! The mall i like the most is Vivo!
Before having a child, I’m already good in it. Now with 2 boys, I’m super good in it. Such as carrying Belen and feeding Beorn at the same time. Many times I’m left with no choice but to multi-task. Carrying Belen and sing songs to Beorn. Feeding Belen and reading stories to Beorn…. Etc.
Thirteenth, standby mode.
My brain must always be in the standby mode. Anytime in the middle of the night that either one cries, I will jump out of bed and immediately attend to him. For Beorn, usually he cries for milk. For Belen, as he’s still a newborn, we can only play guessing game. To guess if he’s hungry, colic, stomachache, nightmare, poo or wanna be carried. If checked with all and he’s still crying, have to crack my brain to think what makes him cry and ways to calm him down. In short, I can’t sleep well.
The boys are older now. No more waking up in the middle of the night for milk!
Fourteenth, setting a good example.
Especially now that Beorn is picking up things and actions very fast, gotta set a good example. It’s a very stressful task. Anything that I wanna do or words I wanna say, I’ve think twice. Simple manners like saying thank you, sorry and greeting people. To me, if a child doesn’t have manners, it reflects back on the parents.
Fifteenth, brain juice.
A lot of brain juice is required. To think of new activities for the kids, ways to keep them entertained and in handling them too. It’s a tough job especially when I didn’t have sufficient sleep.